Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

I was tired of fighting.

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

It’s here now, writing to you.

‘Oh f**k’: Sean O’Malley describes how Merab Dvalishvili submitted him, admits ‘I don’t feel sad at all’ after loss - MMA Fighting

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

I had run out of hope.

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

Can a mother forget her child after she puts him or her up for adoption?

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

If freedom of speech is absolute, how come it's not applied for private spaces and for the Internet?

And the sadness?

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

So I’m getting piano lessons and my teacher wants me to get an upright piano instead of a keyboard. An upright piano is way above my price range, so what do I do? And what’s the difference between an upright piano and a keyboard?

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

Be who you already are.

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

Can the effects of hormone replacement therapy (HRT) be reversed?

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

Do you think cheating is that bad?

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

The sadness was still there.

What is the most memorable thing that happened in your college days?

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

I’ve a dismissive avoidant partner who said that he’s overwhelmed by our relationship and that he wants to break up, how do I get him back?

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

It’s still here.

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

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I was tired of trying and failing.

You are like me, then.